My Time is Not My Own

Untouched Path

Y’all, it’s been a while. Like, a long while. July 3rd was my last entry. (Oops!)

So, let me explain (with the hope of not boring you) why it’s been so long.

In early May I became a barista (yay coffee!) and am still learning more about the science of coffee than I may even care to, but I love it! Tasting the natural, good flavor that the Lord put in coffee beans has made me more grateful and aware of how tuned in He truly is.

On August 18th, I became an intern at the Village Church in the Preschool ministry area. I’ve already learned many things from this experience, but probably not the types of things you’d expect.

What comes with working in a church of our size (amount of people not building parameters) is organization – something I try to avoid like the plague. For me, looking at a calendar and knowing mostly what my days will look like up until March makes my stomach churn. Literally. But alas, God has put me in this place, at this time, with the authority I’m under, for some divine reason. So if you ask me how I’m doing and I respond with “Good.. Busy.” – you know what I mean & how I feel. This does not mean I’m ungrateful, I’m just not going to lie about how the Lord is stretching and growing me in ways I personally wouldn’t choose. I’ve learned, though, that His choices draw me nearer to Him & bring fruitful life, so I’m trusting.

Something I’ve thoroughly enjoyed over the past 4 months is a class I’m taking called Perspectives. A couple weeks back, we studied a group of people called the Moravians (the Moravian Slaves, These incredibly brave disciples’ “mission statement” has lingered on repeat in my head.

“May the Lamb that was slain receive the reward of His suffering!”

The Moravians understood in full that their lives were unworthy of not suffering for the One who undeservingly suffered most. I so badly want to live that way. Specifically over the past 4 months, the Lord has also abundantly watered the seed He planted in my heart that gave me a passion for the unreached. It’s growing like a wild fire, actually. People like Jim Elliot and Pete Fleming, just, yeah. I pray to attain humble, sacrificial, bravery like those men. Truly willing to lay down my life for the sake of others knowing Christ is frightening, because I know Who my God is. But, when I think about Who my God is, I’m reminded that nothing man does to me can separate me from Him. It is well with my soul.

Sorry, I rabbit-trailed. But basically, what I’m trying to convey is that, simply put, my time is not my own. But I am grateful for that, because He knows what He’s doing, and as much as I’d love to believe I do, I don’t. God’s timing is not perfect because it fits in with everything I schedule around it, but because HE is perfect.

So, will you pray for me, with me? For contentment, patience, wisdom? This next year I will be making many big decisions, and I want them to be the Lord’s decisions, not mine. I want to submissively follow wherever He will lead me.

“Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD, and turn away from evil.
It will be healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones.”
Proverbs 3:7-8

“For behold, he who forms the mountains and creates the wind, and declares to man what is his thought, who makes the morning darkness, and treads on the heights of the earth the LORD, the God of hosts, is his name!” Amos 4:13

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